This must be both difficult and hurtful for you and for Elizabeth. But there is another part of me wanting another child because I know Elizabeth would make a good mother. We started speaking again at the beginning of this year and it was lovely but I felt she was always having an input in things and before long we fought again.
Elizabeth and I started dating when I was still in my marriage, and when I split with my husband she and I got our own house and moved in with the kids. But there is another part of me wanting another child because I know Elizabeth would make a good mother. Your children have had Elizabeth in their lives for some years now and hopefully they have a good relationship with her but how would they react to a new baby? I have two teenage children and was married for 16 years but I ended it five years ago when I met 'Elizabeth'. Nobody leaves a marriage easily and the added complication that you were leaving your husband for a woman must have made it even more difficult. Things have changed a lot in Ireland, particularly in the last decade and now thankfully the LGBT community has achieved full acceptance by the State. So instead of looking for your mother's approval tell yourself that you are doing your best to be a good daughter, but above all you want to be a good partner to Elizabeth and a good mother to your children. We started speaking again at the beginning of this year and it was lovely but I felt she was always having an input in things and before long we fought again. You obviously had very strong feelings for Elizabeth to have taken such a very big step. Your mother is part of your family of origin, but the main focus in your life right now is the home you have set up with Elizabeth and your children. However, some individuals, while agreeing in principle with all this, find it very difficult to accept that their own family members are part of this community, and for them denial is often an option. I left my husband for my girlfriend but my mother won't accept her Independent. I can understand your mother's concerns - when your own children are old enough to set up home with a partner you will see how much you worry about them, although ultimately what you will want is for your children to be happy, and I'm sure your mother is no different. I know I shouldn't but I always do, and I know this is my problem with having more children - what would my mother think and say. This brings me to the question of whether or not you should have more children. But she is not going to change and so the only thing that you can change is yourself. You seem always to have had issues with your controlling mother. We didn't talk for a year and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but my mother is very controlling and it was the only thing I could do to stop her. However, ultimately, like any other prospective parents, the decision will be between yourself and Elizabeth. However, that doesn't stop you wanting her approval although I imagine that she will not approve of your getting married. In your head you are always running things by your mother, seeking her approval, but the reality is that you have no way of knowing whether or not she would approve of whatever you are thinking about. This must be both difficult and hurtful for you and for Elizabeth. My mother didn't take the news very well and fought with me every day until it came to the point where I couldn't take it any more. Elizabeth often says she would love to have children together and in a way I would too, but my age puts me off and the thought of starting again scares me. You don't tell me how old Elizabeth is but presumably she is younger than you if you are considering a pregnancy.
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