Blumpkins

06.10.2018 1 Comments

Which, of course, is ruin every family portrait for years to come. When you open that stall door only to find another Bro in the same predicament waiting and you both are met with that awkward silence as if he just saw you dump a body you did let's be honest , what do you say? And how do you feel? I have a serious problem with pissing myself or getting the floor confused with the bathroom every time I drink more than 10 beers. To start off she's an absolute 3 on the looks scale, she lives with him and pays no rent, and is dumb as a rock literally.

Blumpkins


Follow me on Twitter and submit your Ask a Bro questions here. For the life of me I can't twist this in a way where old JC is better off. Even then, I don't think you can talk a girl into giving you a blumpkin without her already being open to it in the first place. So you could say that I more than empathize with your problem. If some poor bastard is standing outside the door, clinching his turd hatch with every fiber of his being, waiting for you to finish, the last thing he wants is some joker to pop out of the stall with a new lease on life wishing him luck or reiterating what he already knows: So it's either you sleep on the floor or in the same bed as your friend? To further this catastrophe; she has no job, collects unemployment and sits home all day not looking for jobs she's one of those people …Did I mention she's absolutely gross looking? You sit, you explode, you breath, then repeat steps in any order until finished. Obviously hot girls don't shit so it's only a hypothetical. Or a good luck? Walk away as if nothing ever happened? People who have to tote an EpiPen with them everywhere they go might tend to disagree with this entire statement. Is it Bro or not Bro to sleep in the same bed with another Bro if there is nowhere else to sleep. Do I tell my brother in bullet-ed powerpoint form why he needs to get rid of this girl …or do I hold my peace? Obviously you don't want to do this with a stranger but then again, if he wants to ass rape you I highly doubt that you sleeping on the floor is going to stop him. You might as well get butt-blitzed in total comfort. Somehow he wound up in a relationship after the fact with some new girl and now, boom, fast forward one year and they seem pretty committed. I'm questioning if this is really a dude or just my girlfriend pretending to be a dude asking these questions to mess with me. When you open that stall door only to find another Bro in the same predicament waiting and you both are met with that awkward silence as if he just saw you dump a body you did let's be honest , what do you say? So my older brother is a great guy, we've always been close and are similarly awesome. If you don't want to piss all over the place you just need to stay up for like an extra hour or two to sober up and piss more of it out. This isn't at all an outrageous question, but it's a nice deviation from the normal ones about girls. The second reason I was skeptical of this question is because Jessica Biel has been at the top of my list for quite a while. For me, peanut butter would have to be in the mix at all times. But you might just be able to trick her into it during what otherwise seems to be a harmless hook-up.

Blumpkins


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